Dealing with a holding pattern...

To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.

I'm struggling in my diligence! 

I was really angry last night. I visited a place in my soul that I didn't know existed. I hope I never see that place again. I wasn't just angry at my ex, he was just the trigger.  

I was angry about everything in my present life. I was angry about work. I know I expected to be overwhelmed but I'm overwhelmed beyond what I expected and I feel completely isolated-  I want to be positive, but yesterday I had the class from hell and it set a tone. I feel like I'm in some kind of weird prison.
I was angry about being here in NY, This doesn't feel like home anymore. My kids are grown and have their own lives and I'm picking up the pieces of this broken 30yr lie on my own. The progress is so slow that molasses has miles on it. 

I was angry about the temporary loss of intimate contact. How I went from holding the HBGs hand every day for two months to not being able to feel his touch or see his face in front of me. I was angry about the time apart. I was angry that seeing him means a great expense and effort. I was angry that I couldn't just hop on a plane last night. I was angry that I couldn't go to a place that feels like home for the weekend. 

I was angry about having to eat dinner alone, not because I hated being alone but because it was the first Friday night of the school year which used to be a night for martinis and oysters. I had nobody to share my week with like I have every year for the last 16.  I had to eat alone so I didn't eat. I couldn't bare to.

I was angry because my ex was going out with her. I don't have any feelings about him but I was angry that he could have the intimate contact at will. I was also angry that I couldn't intrude on him like he does on the HBG and I. I was angry that he wasn't eating alone on the first Friday night of the school year.

I was angry that I was so heavy and out of shape that I couldn't do part of that workout yesterday. I was angry that my muscles hurt so bad and I'm so tired and that I have to get on a bicycle this morning. 

Finally, I was angry about the house and how after all this time, 18 months, NOTHING HAS CHANGED and how I realized my ex doesn't care if we walk away empty handed . If we have no money to start out new life's with and a ton of debt, it will be fine with him. This made me even more angry about being stuck in NY! I could've walked away jobless and homeless and be in a place other than here. 

I woke up in the middle of the night dreaming that the bed was covered in thousands of love letters. When I came to and realized it was a dream I started crying.  I fell back to sleep but it was fitful. I dreamt that I was left at the airport. I woke up feeling really lost. 

I know I spent last night wallowing in self pity and doubt. I love myself but found myself questioning everything, including that love. I'm trying to pull myself back into center. Yes I'm approaching today as a new day, but I also know that I just shed some skin and things are kinda tender. 

This morning, I'm just trying to motivate my body to get on my bike for a few hours and to return to start cleaning my studio. I'm badly needing a hug so I might as well give myself one in the form of completing a long awaited task. 

Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.

Maya Angelou

Finally: 

Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free.

Thích Nhất Hạnh

Sent from my iPhone

Waking up enlightened by my own spirit

"There's an old Indian saying, A mans soul can only travel as fast as his feet will carry him. Perhaps between here and home I'll catch up with myself." -Jerry Ellis 

Years ago I read the book Walking the Trail. I spent the summer living on part of that Trail of Tears, wondering if the ghosts of the trail understood my affect? 

I've spent the past few weeks slowly reading that book again, knowing how wonderful my life has become and understanding what I need to do to continue perpetuating the joy of my journey back to the artist life I once thrived on. I may be back in NY but my soul now has a clear direction and a means to that goal. I can't wait to get back home! If it's where my heart is, then that would be living a simple life, getting muddy with my best friend, in Arkansas. 

It's Been One Incredible Year

It's July 11th and I'm sitting at the kitchen table in the HBG's house reflecting on the last few weeks and what we have done since I've gotten here for my summer stay. It's exactly one year since I showed up on his doorstep, and I marvel at how beautiful my year has been. What I really find incredible is how my daily experience is being driven by my work on learning to love myself. The HBG? My relationship with him is one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced in my life. He has taught me so much about slowing life down to the point of not running to or away from things but enjoying the now!

Since I have been here we have been to the Playhouse on the Square (FM 12+) to see the Gospel at Colonus. This was an incredible experience in such an intimate theatre space. One of our favorites.

We spent the evening in Memphis and from the theater we had dinner at Lafayettes (7) which, despite being listed as one of Memphis's up and coming hottest restaurants was a complete disappointment. It was for one, too loud (between sets). The portions were sparse and when our pizza was delivered with the incorrect toppings, pepperoni instead of crawfish (because the waiter could not hear us) we were offered what we thought was two free beers due to the increased wait only to find out when the check came that we were in fact charged for them. Essentially, this place was a bust.

We headed back downtown to our hotel. We stayed at the Hampton Inn on Beale for $65. with their points/money option. This hotel was actually a nice surprise and not quite as noisy as they make themselves out to be. From here we found ourselves wondering Beale looking for some good music, beers, and eventually settling on playing pool, which was a blast.

We listened to some music at Silky O'Sullivans (FM 8.5 ). We had a nice time here, making us wish we had actually eaten here rather than Lafayettes. Music was better, prices were better, and we would've eaten oysters instead of pizza.

We played pool at the Peoples Billiard Club  (FM 9.5) This place had reasonable rates for its location and a pitcher option on craft beer. They allowed us to stay later (to finish up our beer) than the posted closing time and did not charge us for the extra 30 minutes. The guy running the place was very pleasant. We had a blast.

We had a late night meal at the Blues City Cafe (7) which despite the last time we dined here seemed to have lost something. The beef stew was not that great.

In the morning, we headed out to cure what the wounds from the night before...

Tamp and Tap (7) This was an overpriced and watered down coffee experience (both brewed and pour over). This place has a lot of potential but the brewed Ethiopian was watered down so much the taste was like more of brewed tea. The pour over expresso had too many pours to fill that small cup, it too was watery. I had to pay for jelly with my english muffin and despite ordering it with butter never got it. The fresh bakery goods (muffins) are Otis Spunkmeyer, not locally baked as you would hope, and cost a pretty penny.

Flying Fish (10++) THIS IS THE PLACE TO CURE WHAT AILS YOU!!! We have never had a bad meal either here or the Little Rock location and its hands down one of our favorite places to go. Get the protein platter and you will be amazed at how wonderful you feel after a dozen oysters and some grilled fish and veggies.

Where else have we been since I got here?

We spent July 4th in Little Rock, hoping to go to the Farmers Market, as we checked and rechecked the city calendar, only to arrive and find that their PoP's festival was the only thing going on that day. This wasn't the liveliest of street fairs for a city, but we made the best of our drive.

We ate lunch at Damnegood Pies (8) which is a brewpub. It was a nice escape from the heat, and the beer was decent enough. We enjoyed the home-brew contest winner's brew. The place had a local flavor.

We hit up a grocery and brought home some Lost 40 Pale Ale and had a sour at the Flying Saucer  9+) before heading home. This is another one of our favorite places, mostly because despite having a bit of that tourist feel to it, they have really outdone themselves with their selection of draught and bottles. The place reminds me quite a bit of the Blind Tiger in NYC.

On our way home we hit up Nick's BBQ in Carlisle (9+) which surprised us. It is so well advertised on 40 that we thought for sure it would be pedestrian BBQ. We were hungry and decided to try it anyway. It is well worth the stop. One of the best BBQ meals we have had in a while.

We have both spent a great deal of time in the studio making work. We have also gotten the bike running and on the road. This has been an incredible joy!

Up next? We are headed to Maine next week to see Mikey before spending Sunday with Justin and Hallie to celebrate their engagement. I can't wait to take Joey to Reds Eats, show him Watershed, go t the beach at Pemaquid, spend a night with Mikey at his new place in Portland, see Joey for lunch in Worcester, have pizza at Froggy's, and finally see Chris, Anna, James, and the rest of the family and friends as they celebrate Justin and Hallie's with a BBQ. I guess that means there will be more tales from the road coming up!!!

Tales from around town soon too (we possibly found one of the greatest pottery collections...)

if I had just a few minutes to catch up with my dad after 33 years... A Father's Day Post

 I was 17 when I lost my dad. I woke up this morning thinking about how my kids are  going to be interacting with their dad today. For some reason I found myself remembering the last fathers day I spent with mine and how much I have done since that I wish I could've shared with him.
So here goes:

Dear Dad,
Since you've been gone I have accomplished so much with my life. I have graduated from college and a graduate program and have taken almost 90 post grad credits. I wish I could tell you they were all towards a PhD but I cannot. You would be proud to know however that they were all towards things in my life that I was passionate about at the time.
I have been a studio artist, a teacher and a coach. I have spoken at conferences, won several awards and have exhibited my work as frequently as time would allow. I even coached one of your grandsons to Olympic Trials in the sport you loved to watch and follow almost as much as football. I have also ridden my bike about 50,000+ miles since you have been gone, mostly in the name of teaching my kids about charity.
Speaking of grandchildren, four of yours would be mine. The oldest, Justin,  is an artist and is about to get married, your granddaughter Anna is in health related retail and lives in Pa, Mikey is a Maine farmer and tremendous craftsman and Chris is a senior at the University of MN, he's your athlete. You would be so proud of all of them. I am also proud to be called Coici Lisa as Joe has two wonderful kids too.
My marriage didn't go so well. It stayed together for 28 years, but now a year and a half removed from the initial fallout I am realizing it pretty much sucked for a long while. Its sad, but I have learned so much in that past year and a half that I can honestly say I am moving beyond and forward. I have turned that tremendous corner. It has me excited for the future and scarily throwing caution to the wind. I am going forward with my head held high, looking nice, and smiling pretty for all the cameras of life.
My bucket list of goals have changed, they are far more about loving myself and finding direction in that rather then being stressed out and anxious trying to afford to live in the place I grew up in. I have decided that its time to stop trying to be an overachiever just to keep from drowning in the culture of the area. What it accomplishes isn't worth the headache it causes. I have spent more time hanging with friends and focussing on happiness and there is so much I wish I could show you about how it works. I think even at 85 you would be able to benefit from what I have learned about letting go.
In that process I have met someone that I know you would love. We are tremendous friends and have put that first, always. He is affectionate, intellectual, knows his way around a workshop, is a fantastic cook, is into culture and loves to dance. I have been finding myself down south in Arkansas almost as much as being here in NY this past year. I will be spending the whole summer there as well. We planted a medium sized garden in the spring, and he's been tending it, even picked our first peppers yesterday.

There is still not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. Happy Father's Day pops!
Love you!!!!

28 years, 10 days, 6 hours and 55 min and then it was done... and then we went to 121

Is it weird that I went to dinner with him after signing myself out of my married life?

I started my day yesterday with such determination. I had spent the past 3 weeks or so really on edge, I thought it was just the shoulder surgery and all the work that was piling up, only to realize the night before last that it was the notion that I was ending of one of the longest chapters I've ever engaged in that was bothering me. Its funny in a way, it was like one of those monotonous stories that you kinda wanted to put down but were afraid to. I was a complete wreck a few days before, like the Tasmanian Devil, gathering those who were trying to support me up into my tornado of anxiety. I had a major epiphany within that, and when I finally admitted in writing that one of my biggest fears in life was being forgotten and abandoned, my heart seemed to open up like it was the most beautiful bloom on the planet. I don't know where I learned this fear, I just remember having it since kindergarten. What I came to understand that day is that I knew why I married the man I did, I knew why I accepted a lack of affection, and I knew that what I have right now, is love, of myself.

Love of self was something that the HBG, you know my friend Joey,  showed me that I not only needed but I deserved and it was the only way I could extend love. I have experienced more love in the past 18 months that I have in my whole life. My epiphany? I finally understood what love really was. I also understood that as long as I held onto that fear of abandonment I would never fully experience it.

Two nights ago I decided to close the door on this marriage wearing a dress. I started the relationship loving wearing dresses, and I stopped because there to I was begging to be noticed. He never told me I looked nice, never told me I was pretty, never seemed happy that I was on his arm... then told me that one of the reasons he wanted to leave me was because I never made the effort to look nice for him... So yesterday I got my hair cut, put on a nice dress and brought along my favorite sketchbook pen... After everything was signed I ask him if he knew why I wore a dress and yes he questioned it. I told him I did it because I knew he wouldn't notice. It was my way of knowing that nothing had changed and that signing was not a mistake. He admitted he noticed but he didn't say anything. This was so typical and I found that I was no longer heartbroken by the lack of attention.

It seems strange, that we went out to dinner. I was planning on going out to eat but I decided to invite him along because I really didn't feel like going home and facing those new feelings in that box with a past. So we went to dinner, at the last place we had dinner as a couple on our anniversary two years ago. I introduced him to my friend that works there as my soon to be ex-husband and assigned him no other name. When we got home, he notices that there were bagels and a chocolate babka on the table and asked me why I had gone to his old neighborhood in the Bronx that day and got bagels and babka? DID YOU EVEN NOTICE MY HEAD? OMG THE DAY BEFORE YOU TOLD ME MY HAIR WAS GETTING LONG AND I  WENT AND GOT IT CUT!!! in the BRONX! Yes, no regrets I did the right thing. I promptly celebrated with a bourbon on the Shard Porch as I discussed the days events with Joey. Then I retreated to my room, never uttering another word to him.

I think in the end though, despite the fact that he said he had 6 years to be over our relationship, I was more prepared emotionally than he was. I have been working on myself for a grueling year and a half. I have learned how to love, how to except love, how to feel sexy, how to be beautiful. It is hard work, but so worth it. I came into this marriage not liking myself to much and accepting that I didn't deserve more than I was getting.  I have exited this marriage knowing that I love myself and deserve nothing less than the amount of love and attention I have given myself. Never again will I be with someone who doesn't appreciate what I appreciate about myself. I am a helpless romantic and expect nothing more than to be treated that way, no more phishing for it.

I woke this morning with a smile on my face, the type you have when your heart is light...I can't wait to see the HBG again.

121 Restaurant North Salem, NY                                                   FM Rating 10+ 
Choose from the bar menu or order clam pizza, these are must haves in this great place!  It gets crowded though so be prepared to wait.

Hearts, flowers and a week feeling at home in AR

It has been 12 days since I last saw Joey, and while enjoying what we have living 1200 miles apart can be difficult at times, what I have in a friendship is truly unique and very much a blessing, something I will never take for granted.  Lets just hope the next 12 days goes as quickly as the last.

On February 14,  just after midnight, I landed in Memphis. I arrived to beautiful flowers,  an incredible airport kiss and a beautiful handmade Valentine! *(see handmade below) Our plan was to head to Little Rock in the early afternoon, settle in, eat dinner, go to a show and then head out on the town. We did, and it was amazing!

Our way back from Little Rock was a race against the ice clock. We stopped for groceries, knowing we would be stuck for a few days with the impending storm. We headed home, and prepared a wonderful meal and hunkered down for a few days of captive studio time. It was the most wonderfully relaxing 10 day break from school that I have ever had the pleasure of enjoying. I am not one to be a homebody, but this time, it was just what I needed. We did venture out from time to time, and even managed to take in a movie the night before I returned home.

So what did we do/see?:

In Little Rock we went to:

the Flying Saucer     -FM rating 10
 When we couldn't get into the Flying Fish for dinner we went on a hunt for another suitable eatery. This place boasted a HUGE craft list and basically was one of the most progressive I have seen in AR yet. CUDOS to them. Valentines special, a flight of sours, some hard to get stuff too. Food was tasty and well worth the stop.

The Studio Theater FM rating 8+ 
Maybe it was just the production we saw, Rehearsal for Murder, which was a bit dry and not as interactive as we expected? This is an incredibly progressive space however and the bar boasts $7. glasses of wine that are basically 10oz pours AND you can take them into the theater with you.  

Willie D's Piano Bar FM rating 7 
Entertainment was great, and there is a dance floor upstairs, but the drinks sucked - order Macros as they are not as big of a price gouge.

The Flying Fish FM hangover rating 12++
A boatload of really fresh fish (we had the grilled trout) and OYSTERS served up with freshly ground  cocktail sauce.  All that was missing was the Bloody Mary. Sunday brunch was not overly crowded.

Historic Arkansas Museum FM rating 12++ (even while hungover) 
Incredible collection for such a small place and its free!

The movie we saw?
Fifty Shades of Grey  FM rating- 0 it SUCKED!!! 
boring, abusive, not worth the money or the time


*the handmade rules:
Birthday and Christmas gifts are to be handmade and/or up-cycled and if its up-cycled it has to cost less than $5.00.
Cards given on Valentines Day and other important dates determined by us- have to be handmade
Food, when prepared at home has to be as sexy as possible so that it evokes a sense of gratitude for the ability to share each others company and mindfulness of eating.

Why these rules? Everything about learning to love yourself as well as each other is a journey in mindfulness. Exchanging things that are handmade with each other creates the time for reflection on this mindfulness. Everything we do for each other, we also do for ourselves.

Our next Adventure? NCECA

where a year has taken me- the story I never really told

It was just about a year ago (Feb 7, 2014) during the opening ceremonies of the Olympics that the man I had married 28 years earlier had told me that he had something to tell me, and that thought he would loose me. He confessed to a double life, lets put it this way, he confessed to a very long and very fruitful, meaning more than one woman, life...I am not one to kiss and tell but the fact that I had to beg for any type of affection or affirmation for the last half dozen years suddenly made sense. So did the never wanting to travel with me, even when it was for the kids. Lets put it this way, this past year has been a journey of discoveries. While this whole story has been sad, a great deal of those discoveries have been wonderful.

Where has this year taken me? At first I was asked if we could work it out, the shock of the betrayal yet to sink in and then there was the unconditional love. I thought he was the love of my life. The interesting thing here, is that so many have told me there is no way they would forgive. All I can say is until you walk a day in my shoes, you have no idea. Everything I read said give it a year. I was willing to put 1000% in and I did, I spent hours toiling over making myself into this creature I was not (hair, nails, make-up,  among other things) and doing all this work on communication skills. The only problem was, I was still pleading and he was still playing, WITH HER. Six months after I agreed to work it out, I decided, when he stood me up at the airport so that he could go to a concert with her, that I was tired and finally giving up. I let him go. Funny thing, he seemed indifferent. WOW, I meant that little. That was an eye opener.

He had moved out briefly in April, I wish he had stayed out. I would be so much further along in the healing process. Though I think about this and know that I am probably better off with the way things have played out, mostly because there are lessons I have learned that have helped me tremendously by his refusal to leave.

I had forgiven him for awhile, that was until he refused to give up his other life. While I was wearing those rose colored lenses,  I had confided in a handful of friends that had varied opinions about what was going on. A half dozen of them have really been crucial to making this years journey about me and LESS about HIM. There is this one, however, that really stands out. His name is Joey.

Joey and I have been friends since the moment we met a few years ago while our boys were skating. He is one of those people that you could talk about anything with. When I called him a year ago to tell him what had happened, I told him that I just needed someone to listen, without opinion. He obliged and then he did something spectacular, he helped me try to figure out what I needed to do to "fix" my marriage, despite knowing in his heart that my husband was just dicking me around (*excuse me). Joey also kept trying desperately to get me to spend a weekend away, if only to give me respite from the grief he was watching unfold. I was so desperate. I was so not myself. Then he did the one thing that everyone wanted to do but couldn't figure out how to do. He ran pass interference, the kind that was akin to a rescue mission. I had planned on spending a solo 2 weeks away, deep in the woods, 5 miles off the grid. When that fell through, Joey got his uncle to offer his place at the lake. Joey convinced me to come, stay, decompress before school, and bring some clay. He rescued me from myself.

 I like to think of Joey as an extremely compassionate soul, the kind of friend that would let you call him crying or angry at 2:30 AM (boy has he seen that a few times). The guy that would let you sleep if you needed it, or make you a cup of tea if you needed that. The one thing that set him apart from everyone else, is that he understood that the one thing my husband had neglected, my self esteem. He told me I was pretty, gorgeous, sexy, a girly girl... all well before he ever held my hand, all while I was trying to compete with the other woman. He made sure to remind me of who I was, as he had always known me. He ran into the fire and pulled me out 1000X and quite honestly I know in my heart of hearts he would do it again. (Don't worry, I am so cognizant of how special that is that I won't/can't/don't abuse it. Our friendship means too much!)

What I have learned about me in this past year: I am this awesome, creative, ambitious, confident and compassionate woman. I am beautiful, sexy, and it is an honor to be loved by me. I have learned that meditation can change the world, the universe is amazing and that sometimes letting go of the pain, just nourishes your love. I have learned that there were a lot of things I gave of myself in the name of love that I had no right giving, and that there are a lot of things that I would never give up ever again. I have found the dignity and respect that I deserve within myself and if you love me, you won't ask me to sacrifice it. I learned true friends, are EVERYTHING!

So this is where I am a year out, choosing not to make an anniversary out of the negative but rather engage in a celebration of who I fell in love with on my journey, MYSELF! I do know that this is only the beginning, but I also know that I can (and will) THRIVE!

At home with the flu

A week ago last Friday I came home from school feeling really bad, I had been for two days but had been ignoring it. I was about to go to the gym when in my typical whiny I don't want to go manner, I decided to focus on the fact that I felt feverish. I took my temp, it was 101.8. I guess that meant I was sick. Yay, no gym, my first thought! Then came that realization that I felt really bad, in other words now that I knew I had a fever, ignoring my symptoms was not an option anymore. So I got myself cleaned up and climbed into bed. On Sunday, I decided maybe I should go to urgent care. It had a 3 hrs wait every time I ventured up there so my wait was going to be for my own doctor. I had the flu. I knew that. I just needed to note to stay home from work. My doctor was just as busy (not available) so I toughed out urgent care, my fever had broken and I was told that I could go back on Wed...yeah I tried that. It didn't go so well.

On Wednesday, I managed a half a day's work.  I didn't have a fever but I couldn't stop coughing. I couldn't breath and in the meantime my face had broken out with cystic acne. Between the two, I needed antibiotics and a place to rest.  I was back at my own doctor on my way home from school. I left her office with a note and strict orders. Go back to your house, pack your PJs, your robe, and your toothbrush and go somewhere to get well, whether that means go to your mom's or head south doesn't matter, just go somewhere not stressful to get some quality rest. That's exactly what I did. Later that evening, despite the expense, I found myself getting off the plane in Memphis. I finally found myself finally feeling at home while I was recovering. The HBG took great care of me and by Friday night I was so ready to venture out of the house.

We went for Pho. Funny, with all the soup I had eaten in the past week I could still find a place for this warm bowl of noodles. We then found ourselves at the Evergreen Presbyterian Church to hear the Messiah. As wonderful as that was, it was about all I could handle and here it is Monday, and I am still spent. It was, however, just as I said, incredibly wonderful!

I flew home last night, into more snow and with a prayer that I wouldn't  get stuck in Atlanta. If they are going to cancel my flight, please let it be while I have a warm bed. I made it, landed in NY just as snow was starting and enjoyed a final day of recouping before the rat race begins again tomorrow.

Pho Saigon, Memphis, TN   FM 9+
This was a classic Pho shop. Wonderful, flavorful. definitely worth the stop!!! Cheap eats!!!

Memphis Symphony Orchestra and the Rhodes Choral Society FM 8.5+
The performance of the Messiah was wonderful, despite the Christmas portion of the score being a little less dynamic than it could have been. It was as if they got a pep talk at intermission because the 2nd half of the program was incredible! There were several soloists that transformed the work... Mary Wilson, Kyle Ferrill, Katie Clark, and Barrie Cooper

Young Aveneue Deli, Memphis, TN FM 9+
We stopped in to kill some time between dinner and the concert. It was a place I would've loved to hang out at for a bit, despite it being cavernous enough to make hearing your companion a bit difficult. It has a more than pedestrian tap list, actually, it's an incredible list, both tap and bottle. CRAFT BEER MUST!!!

A Soak, Scrub and a Rub: a journey to Hot Springs

A Soak, Scrub and a Rub: a journey to Hot Springs 

We started New Years off right by booking a spa day in Hot Springs NP, AR. We were trying to give the town another chance, our last visit was fun, but not quite the way we wanted to remember the place. The drive, which was about 2.5hrs, took us through some interesting farmland and small towns... the more I see the more I LOVE ARKANSAS! 

Our Spa treatment was wonderful, and was akin to a cleansing of the past year of heartache and a fresh way to start anew. However, there were things about it we didn't like. We ended the time in Hot Springs NP with a few games of pool, a burger and some wings. The night? It was just beginning. We rang in the New Year at the Legion, with more pool and lots of dancing. 

Quapaw Baths: (Spa treatment) FM 7

While the two of us loved the public soak we had back in July, the spa services were very expensive for what you were given and there was a lot of waiting around time on furniture that was less than comfortable. We were told the private soak would be 50 minutes only to find out that it was actually 20 minutes with a 30 min cool down before the massage and we were forced to sit in these little nooks that were not very conducive to relaxing. The massage and scrub were wonderful for me, yet for the HBG the masseuse seemed to be afraid to apply pressure or maybe just a bit distracted by her own life? We also didn't appreciate the way in which the tables were set, we couldn't see each other much less understand that we were enjoying our experience. We may as well have been in different rooms all together. 

3B's  FM 9

We left the pompous main street of Hot Springs NP to an enjoyable dinner and multiple games of pool. This place has tons of character! Located in a more NORMAL yet somewhat depressed neighborhood, and you get the feeling that you are walking into the wonderful neighborhood dive bar. The craft beer offerings were decent and the food was outrageous.  Dinner of 2 doz wings, burger, 4 beers and 4 games of pool, a mere 36. including the tip!  This place is a don't judge a book by its cover MUST visit if you are in the National Park.