I'm officially 50, shhhh don't tell anyone! My birthday celebration was 10 days long with the HBG being present for all of it and he made sure it was perfect! We went to the opera, ate at WoHop downstairs at 2AM, tooled around the village, visiting Greenwich House Pottery, Bleeker Street Pizza, City Island, ate Oysters, went to the beach, and my kids threw me an incredible party, I spent Thanksgiving in Arkansas, picked Pecans, went to see the Christmas Story at the Orpheum, played pool in two states, got really wasted on moonshine, danced a lot, went to the Brooks Art Museum and this awesome steakhouse for dinner. Yes, I even had a sloppy version of messy sex for breakfast on my birthday (get your mind out of the gutter) before flying home first class (hey you only turn 50 once).
I am posting this letter dedicated to the HBG on the feast of St. Lucia in honor of our friendship for several reasons (some I care not to share). You see, a few months ago we had a conversation about family heritage and traditions while discussing pierogi and how I came to know how to make them as well as my dislike of pork…except that I have been known to sneak kielbasa slices occasionally. My family is steeped in ethnic traditions, possibly because the intimate connection with Europe is still there. We are proud of both our Polish and German heritage. I learned how to polka before I was 8 and make pierogi, understand the complexities of sauerbraten (why my mom had a crock of pungent veal in the closet next to the cereal) and expected lebkuken, nuts and clementines in my stocking from the time I understood there was something to expect. I feel so fortunate that I have these traditions to hold onto. He on the other hand wishes he knew more about his Norwegian heritage. The feast of St. Lucia is big in Norway and since the Christmas dinner we have planned has taken on a Norwegian theme thanks to my favorite venison tenderloin recipe being Norwegian, I figured it was never to late to introduce someone to what they might expect. Yes I said Christmas dinner. I am sharing Wiligia (Christmas Eve) with my family at home and then after a brunch of Kielbasa, eggs, poppyseed bread and pierogis I will be headed to the airport with a few beautiful cuts of venison from my first deer frozen in my bag to spend the rest of my Christmas break in Arkansas. So on the menu, tenderloin of course, lefse, lingonberry, some kind of vegetable, a spinach salad and rice pudding (yes complete with the hidden almond - wink). The cocktail however will be German. I do like mulled wine, but can never get it to taste right so we will be having Hugos instead (perseco, st germain, and muddled mint).
Learning to embrace traditions is only part of it, I am also dedicating this post to him in honor of his brother Tracey, who passed away a few days ago. In the past year I have learned about the importance of the relationship of siblings as I watched my children navigate their own pain as well as lean on each other while trying to figure out how to ease the pain I was experiencing. I have also realized how wonderfully insightful and important my brother is. While I never met Tracey, I felt this connection to him while watching the HBG navigate the journey of his last days.
I want to talk about my year and why the HBG has meant so much to me. Three years ago we spent a great deal of time together when our boys found themselves training together in Utah that summer and we lived with the same family. We were instant friends and talked quite frequently after that summer. Last year at this time I was getting the family ready to go to Utah to Olympic Trials, and I was so excited to have the opportunity to visit with him in person again. He joined us every day for the 10 day trip to support Chris and his effort to make the team. Shortly upon returning home, I learned that my home life as I knew it was going to change forever. My husband admitted to a double life and despite wanting to "work it out" he let me bend over backwards while he continued to play, with her. I had trouble sharing this with anyone really and became somewhat introverted. However, one day, the HBG called me to try to figure out why I was all of the sudden so distant. I broke down and cried on the phone as I was shopping for a date night dress that day in Macy's. I wanted to be sexy and beautiful, only I felt that I didn't know much about how to be a girl. He listened, as I told him what was going on, no input, just support. Then, he helped me find a dress. Over the next few months, he listened through my fear, heartache, anger, and frustration. He offered me weekend refuge when he knew I needed it. He encouraged me to believe I was beautiful, and sexy, which was something I was never told by my husband. He let me call him at 2:30 AM crying, he extended the most gentle, kind and considerate personality I have ever known from anyone. He was the one friend who ran pass interference from the start. He knew what I needed and took a risk by stepping up to help. He has seen me at my worst this year. He has helped me to find my best. My year was made manageable because of the love of a very good friend. He will forever be in my heart!!! I often feel like he has 1200 mile long arms!!!
My year has been both a challenge and a joy of firsts. I am not sure what my future single life will bring but I do know he will always be in it.
Things I am grateful for? My family, my friends (especially the HBG and his family who have welcomed me with a warm hug, wonderful hospitality, and beautiful smiles), and yes even for my soon to be ex (for releasing me from this mediocre life that I was trying to make the best of) Getting to know and love the South. A love of green tomato soup, boiled turnips and spinach salad. Learning to say PECAHHHN. Playing pool, jumping off cliffs and chasing brownies with a BUD. Having someone to share cultural things such as the opera with. Those BOOTS!
Firsts: a solo cross country drive, green tomato soup, killing and dressing a rabbit, killing and dressing a deer, learning and loving to wear dresses, real moonshine. loving myself!
OK for the FM ratings:
The Metropolitan Opera, Lincoln Center, NYC FM rating 12+++
Everyone should get dressed up and go to the opera at this grande opera house at least once in their life.
WoHop downstairs- 17 Mott Street, NYC FM rating 10++
This is CLASSIC Chinese at its best. Late night crowded is the plus!
Bleeker Street Pizza - 69 7th Ave, NYC FM rating 10
Seating can be an issue as this place is tiny. Pizza is great!
Greenwich House Pottery FM 12+++
Ok this is an outstanding clay center need I say more?
Orpheum Theater Memphis FM rating 10++
Not a bad seat in the house and adult sippy cups
Brooks Museum of Art Memphis FM rating 9
Small and manageable
Majestic Steakhouse Memphis FM rating 8.5
food was great but is was a bit pretentious and expensive- sit at the bar!!!
Awesome!
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