Loving the SOUTH again - Overton Square

I arrived in AR Christmas night and so far have been treated to a wonderfully relaxing few days filled with LOVE. We celebrated Christmas on the 26th with a meal of venison, salad, turnips and southern green beans.  We spent a nice post Christmas Saturday afternoon and early evening in Memphis. We found this small theater that had produced an incredible production of Peter Pan, something we watched together on TV a few weeks ago despite being 1200 miles apart. We went for dinner at Boscos Brewpub, which is the oldest brewpub in TN and then played pool at RP Billiards in East Memphis before heading back across the river to the Legion for more pool, live music and dancing. What an awesome way to spend any Saturday, especially a rainy one. 

Playhouse on the Square - FM rating 12+++ 

This little theatre was an incredible space and the cast, sets, production we saw filled that space to overflowing. This is a MUST see!!!

Boscos Brewing - FM rating 8

Overall the beer was ok ( some fantastic, some ehh... ) and the food edible in this classic brewpub in a tourist area. My favorite was the Alt, which was a seasonal German a style ale. 

RP Billards - FM rating 8.5 

We had fun here. Pool was $1.00 game or $8./hr. The beer on tap was somewhat pedestrian but they did have a few crafts. 

Minnie Pearl, buttermilk biscuits and mindfulness

In the past 6 months, as I navigate my new situation, I have spent a great deal of time soul searching. Mindfulness has been one of those things that I have really taken the time to develop, from meditating for an hour a day to dressing out an animal that I took the life to provide sustenance in the form of a wonderfully sexy meal.  In that time, the HBG and I have discussed family quite a bit. There is a soulfulness to our friendship that seems to remind each other of our grandmothers. My grandmother, Edith (MeMe) was a concert pianist, very much into the opera, classical music and art. His grandmother, I am told was this wonderful witty down to earth woman with an infectious personality who made these incredible buttermilk biscuits and never understood why he seemed to be attracted to girls from the Northeast. Here I am, a NYer (giggle). Somewhere in those discussions there was this quest to learn how to learn how to make biscuits. I cook a lot of things well, biscuits were something I really, really, really suck at. I mean show up at the table in goalie gear and a check for the dentist… ok, maybe not that bad, they were edible, but not flaky, and not anything like the biscuits I envisioned. My guru? He was so gracious and ate them anyway. I giggle because later that day he mentions that Minnie Pearl sifted her flour and used lard… I did not sift the flour and used butter. FAST FORWARD to tonight…

Tonight I made a very small pot of venison stew. It was just enough for dinner and to take for lunch. I would be the only one who would be eating tonight. I decided it needed some biscuits and I had some very nice leaf lard from the butcher in the fridge. I took out my own grandmother's favorite cookbook, found a recipe for buttermilk biscuits, and proceeded to make them. I thought about Minnie Pearl and what it might have been like to watch her make biscuits to learn from her. I thought about an encounter I witnessed my extremely impatient soon to be EX had with waiting in line at the mall. I told him that in he would never make it in the South, he would be ignored because of his behavior. There was no need for all that angst, it only invites more stress,  and not the results you would think. I told him to take that minute he has to wait and relish in the time he has been afforded to relax. What does what I had witnessed at the mall yesterday have to do with making biscuits? As I read that recipe, I found myself immediately making these steps in my brain on what had to be done and in what order at 10.000 mph. I was trying to rush the process, baking biscuits in a NY minute was not going to work. I had to "slow down". I did. I slowly went through the steps, followed the recipe to the T, sifting the flour 3X and remeasuring it, measuring the leaf lard using water displacement and the buttermilk with a fluid measuring cup. I thought about how when I learned to make bread correctly, it was a similar experience, slowing down and measuring/weighing exactly, the result was amazing. I rolled out the dough to 1/4 inch thick and cut the biscuits, placed them on a greased sheet, and brushed them with cream . The oven was very hot, 450 degrees and when I put them in to bake, it seemed like within minutes they were over an inch thick. Within 10 minutes I had these incredible, flaky, beautiful rounds that I could actually call biscuits and between my handmade bowl, the stew made from local ingredients and meat that I had procured myself, this meal was one of the most mindful parts of my day. I think I even feel Minnie Pearl's smile from heaven. I am beaming! I only wish the HBG could be here to taste them.

I guess I will just have to practice until then?

My holiday letter fitting for the feast of St. Lucia

I'm officially 50, shhhh don't tell anyone! My birthday celebration was 10 days long with the HBG being present for all of it and he made sure it was perfect! We went to the opera, ate at WoHop downstairs at 2AM, tooled around the village, visiting Greenwich House Pottery,  Bleeker Street Pizza, City Island, ate Oysters, went to the beach, and my kids threw me an incredible party, I spent Thanksgiving in Arkansas, picked Pecans, went to see the Christmas Story at the Orpheum, played pool in two states, got really wasted on moonshine, danced a lot, went to the Brooks Art Museum and this awesome steakhouse for dinner. Yes, I even had a sloppy version of messy sex for breakfast on my birthday (get your mind out of the gutter) before flying home first class (hey you only turn 50 once).
I am posting this letter dedicated to the HBG on the feast of St. Lucia in honor of our friendship for several reasons (some I care not to share). You see,  a few months ago we had a conversation about family heritage and traditions while discussing pierogi and how I came to know how to make them as well as my dislike of pork…except that I have been known to sneak kielbasa slices occasionally. My family is steeped in ethnic traditions, possibly because the intimate connection with Europe is still there. We are proud of both our Polish and German heritage. I learned how to polka before I was 8 and make pierogi, understand the complexities of sauerbraten (why my mom had a crock of pungent veal in the closet next to the cereal) and expected lebkuken, nuts and clementines in my stocking from the time I understood there was something to expect. I feel so fortunate that I have these traditions to hold onto. He on the other hand wishes he knew more about his Norwegian heritage. The feast of St. Lucia is big in Norway and since the Christmas dinner we have planned has taken on a Norwegian theme thanks to my favorite venison tenderloin recipe being Norwegian, I figured it was never to late to introduce someone to what they might expect. Yes I said Christmas dinner. I am sharing Wiligia (Christmas Eve) with my family at home and then after a brunch of Kielbasa, eggs, poppyseed bread and pierogis I will be headed to the airport with a few beautiful cuts of venison from my first deer frozen in my bag to spend the rest of my Christmas break in Arkansas. So on the menu, tenderloin of course, lefse, lingonberry, some kind of vegetable, a spinach salad and rice pudding (yes complete with the hidden almond - wink). The cocktail however will be German. I do like mulled wine, but can never get it to taste right so we will be having Hugos instead (perseco, st germain, and muddled mint).

 Learning to embrace traditions is only part of it, I am also dedicating this post to him in honor of his brother Tracey, who passed away a few days ago. In the past year I have learned about the importance of the relationship of siblings as I watched my children navigate their own pain as well as lean on each other while trying to figure out how to ease the pain I was experiencing. I have also realized how wonderfully insightful and important my brother is. While I never met Tracey, I felt this connection to him while watching the HBG navigate the journey of his last days.

I want to talk about my year and why the HBG has meant so much to me. Three years ago we spent a great deal of time together when our boys found themselves training together in Utah that summer and we lived with the same family. We were instant friends and talked quite frequently after that summer. Last year at this time I was getting the family ready to go to Utah to Olympic Trials, and I was so excited to have the opportunity to visit with him in person again. He joined us every day for the 10 day trip to support Chris and his effort to make the team. Shortly upon returning home, I learned that my home life as I knew it was going to change forever. My husband admitted to a double life and despite wanting to "work it out" he let me bend over backwards while he continued to play, with her. I had trouble sharing this with anyone really and became somewhat introverted. However, one day, the HBG called me to try to figure out why I was all of the sudden so distant. I broke down and cried on the phone as I was shopping for a date night dress that day in Macy's. I wanted to be sexy and beautiful, only I felt that I didn't know much about how to be a girl. He listened, as I told him what was going on, no input, just support. Then, he helped me find a dress. Over the next few months, he listened through my fear, heartache, anger, and frustration. He offered me weekend refuge when he knew I needed it. He encouraged me to believe I was beautiful, and sexy, which was something I was never told by my husband. He let me call him at 2:30 AM crying, he extended the most gentle, kind and considerate personality I have ever known from anyone. He was the one friend who ran pass interference from the start. He knew what I needed and took a risk by stepping up to help. He has seen me at my worst this year. He has helped me to find my best. My year was made manageable because of the love of a very good friend. He will forever be in my heart!!! I often feel like he has 1200 mile long arms!!!

My year has been both a challenge and a joy of firsts. I am not sure what my future single life will bring but I do know he will always be in it.

Things I am grateful for? My family, my friends (especially the HBG and his family who have welcomed me with a warm hug, wonderful hospitality, and beautiful smiles), and yes even for my soon to be ex (for releasing me from this mediocre life that I was trying to make the best of) Getting to know and love the South. A love of green tomato soup, boiled turnips and spinach salad. Learning to say PECAHHHN. Playing pool, jumping off cliffs and chasing brownies with a BUD. Having someone to share cultural things such as the opera with. Those BOOTS!

Firsts: a solo cross country drive, green tomato soup, killing and dressing a rabbit, killing and dressing a deer, learning and loving to wear dresses, real moonshine. loving myself!

OK for the FM ratings:

The Metropolitan Opera, Lincoln Center, NYC   FM rating 12+++
Everyone should get dressed up and go to the opera at this grande opera house at least once in their life.

WoHop downstairs- 17 Mott Street, NYC FM rating 10++
This is CLASSIC Chinese at its best. Late night crowded is the plus!

Bleeker Street Pizza - 69 7th Ave, NYC FM rating 10
Seating can be an issue as this place is tiny. Pizza is great!

Greenwich House Pottery FM 12+++
Ok this is an outstanding clay center need I say more?

Orpheum Theater Memphis FM rating 10++
Not a bad seat in the house and adult sippy cups

Brooks Museum of Art Memphis FM rating 9
Small and manageable

Majestic Steakhouse Memphis FM rating 8.5
food was great but is was a bit pretentious and expensive- sit at the bar!!!

In the Valley

Standing in a hayloft, it's 28 degrees and the attire? A boyfriend shirt, some lingerie, and THOSE boots. I figured out pretty instantly what all those years on the ice trained me for, that 30minutes in the barn.

Lori made me feel so wonderful! Had so much fun with this! Check her out at http://www.shadowcatcherltd.com (FM rating 12+++)

Copious amounts:
An incredible visit with Jim and Marge that included copious amounts of alcohol to pry the tale of HIS infidelity out of me without me crying. Of course it did help that HBG seemed to be holding my hand on this one a bit. I drank so much yesterday that I thought for sure I would've felt horrible this morning but it's nothing a run couldn't handle.  We did go out at one point to the Backyard Alehouse for a tasting. I did turn Jim onto the untapped App.

I hesitated for a long while about coming to see family with all the stuff going on at home only to realize how silly a thought that was. My travels always seem to cheer me up and visiting with some of my favorite people only makes it better. 

If you're ever in Scranton checkout the Backyard Alehouse. They have an incredible selection of micro both on tap and in bottles. (FM rating 10) 

Hustlin? Not me, YET, anyway!

(Melanie and I at Jack and Jills)

There is this thing that happens when someone is so relaxed around you and so positive that they bring out the best in you and you start to radiate your own self generated happiness. You start to smile so much it hurts (SSMIH) and laugh so hard that you pee a little (LSHIPAL). You also start to get interested in new things, especially those things that seem to bring little kid joy to the person who seems to be able to make you giggle (and wiggle). Its all a process of understanding, both who they are as well as who you are. In that process you find a bit more of the self that you forgot was there, and you begin to take those pieces and run with them, like it was a 73YD touchdown in a bowl game.




The past few weeks I have been finding myself not only working out, but working hard at learning the game of pool, something I always found so difficult, that I would walk away from it more often than not. On a recent trip to AR to see that HBG (Hill Billy Guru), a more than decent pool player, I was intrigued by his coaching and how changing a few little things about the way I approached the game would make it so much less frustrating. I have played almost every day since. I am starting to love this game as much as I do my bike and looking at it in a similar manner, practice makes perfect, but only if its perfect practice. (hustlin? maybe soon, lol)


A note to the HBG, you have opened a can of worms and oh baby are you in for some competition next time I see you! (giggle)


So where have I been playing?


Jack and Jills, Brewster, NY (FM rating 12++) This place is a throwback, and the food is outrageously good!!! Play is by the hour. It's a tremendously friendly place!


Tom and Jerry's, Brewster, NY (FM rating 8.5) This is a great little pub on the outskirts of town. It even has a few craft beers on tap. Bar sized table that is great to play on when it's not busy, but when the regulars are there it can be a wait for a game. Its great if you are learning as you can get yourself into a competitive situation with random players, but it can be kinda intimidating to a newcomer.

Laboring over? (...which dress and boots to buy and what beer to drink)

I was Saratoga bound on Labor Day weekend. It finally felt so right and so normal. I had the bike in the car, the school work just in case, the clothes for every possible equation, a breakfast date with my Coici, and a picture of the H.B.G. to explain my latest thoughts to my friends. I even had $$ to spend on clothes (and one very fabulous pair of damn sexy and YES I love the SOUTH cowboy boots!!!).

My weekend started off in MACY's, dress shopping. I found three fabulous dresses, two I bought and the Lauren, it was 175. and warranted an OH, HELL NO despite looking incredible on. I made my way to Pete's for pizza. Going to Pete's is always a great thing. We have been friends for nearly 40 years yet at times it feels like he is still the chivalrous kid fending off the bullies on the playground.

I made my way to my mom's where we promptly went out to Nanola for a beer. Yes, my mom was sitting there enjoying the music and sipping a pilsner. We had a BLAST!!! The next day I started on the bike, then went to meet Alison and I went over to check out her new boat then for a light dinner and a hunt for boots. Sunday, I engaged in a hill ride, then an eventful breakfast and shopping with Coici judi and YES we discussed the H.G.B.  and found that Lauren dress for $46. !!! This was followed by a intimate Lucchese session at Saratoga Saddlery and a walk to get the dreamy Dan Post boots that I found the day before. OMG I was thinking about how incredible I would look getting off that plane in Memphis in three weeks!!!

My weekend ended at Alison and Rich's place and the nitty gritty details of my trip south. Lets just say that by the end of the night, thanks to Alison,  the H.B.G. will live on in glory!

_______________________

Just spent another weekend up there so I thought I would combine posts since they are only 2 weeks apart. This past weekend, I spent time running a 5K (insane Inflatable) and the bike with Alison (around Saratoga Lake) and a tremendous hike with Jon. I also trekked down to Hudson for Justin's gallery opening. I have to say, this was a surreal experience as the soon to be ex and I arrived separately. We have been talking a lot lately about the collapse, and there is absolutely no hope. This means arriving at the gallery was a bit awkward and dinner was even more so. It hurts, a lot, to know that he did nothing!

_______________________

The places I visited Labor Day:
Nanola - (FM rating 9.5) decent beer list, good food, great bands.

Druther's Brewing Company (FM rating 9) Decent Beer and food in an upbeat atmosphere.

Sutton Market and Cafe  (FM rating 9) A bit pricy but breakfast was good! Right near all the outlets if you are so inclined (I am not unless its with Coici Judi)

Jill's Wondering Cowboys (FM rating 8.5) Eclectic selection of western ware. THIS IS WHERE I GOT MY BOOTS!!!

Saratoga Saddlery - (FM rating 7) pricy but great selection of Lucchese boots.

______________________
Places I visited last weekend:

The Factory (FM rating 9) great food decent beer list

Asion Fusion (FM rating 5) Food was ok, service was not great. There are much better places in this hip college town.

Oh, HELL NO! (and yes I am in love with Arkansas!)

It has been about a week now since I returned from Arkansas. I am finding myself drawn into that country way of life thanks to one hillbilly guru. So much so, that I am not even sure what to post other that Greer's Ferry Lake (FM12++) is beautiful, but bring your own alcohol as the county is dry. Don't plan on doing much more than relaxing and be prepared to jump off cliffs. Coffee on the porch swang is way more pleasurable than any plain ole porch, despite the skeeters. Killing and skinning a rabbit was about the most spiritual thing I have ever done in my life! A must, if you're visiting, is a stop at Joe Bruhin's place -Fox Mtn Pottery and yes you should buy a pot! (FM 10+)

What I will give you about this trip is my insight on messy sex: 

You will need:

1 avocado per person
2 eggs per person
a few slices of a chili pepper - we used hatch
a few slices of cheese (we used apple smoked cheddar)
picante sauce
english muffin toasted per person

Halve the avocados and then slice a bit from the bottom so that the half will stay upright. Place in a pan.
Place a slice of chili pepper in the avacado
Crack an egg into each half
Cover and either place in oven, on the stove or if you are in AR then on the grill is best! (especially if the grill is next to that porch swing) 
Put down the english muffins
Cook until the top of the egg starts to show some white (loosely cooked) 
Top with cheese and continue to cook until cheese melts (do not overcook the eggs - for this to have that true messy sex mouth feel… oops maybe I said too much)
encourage each person to SMEAR the messy sex contents all over the english muffins 
 ENJOY IT like it will be the last time in a long while

Mainely Disconnected (but we did have fun)

This post should have gone out weeks ago, since then things have changed. I am moving on and  I am far more balanced and happier than I've been in a long time. Life has a funny way...

August 9, 2014

The day came, it had been suggested for the past six months that he and I go away with the intention of trying to reconnect. By the time we got to this point however it seemed that maybe it was too little to late. My heart has begun the process of being plated and is now sporting a nice new titanium shine to it. I found that gate in the fence last week and decided it was time to see if it was usable. Sporting a new tattoo to remind me of that newly discovered boundary, my heart was not so willing to fall for the bits of hope thrown at me regularly. The grass on the other side of the fence really is the same, only the new quieted space has a tremendous appeal. I found the porch of my soul and a wonderful new place for my sunrise coffee meditation. Well lets just say, coffee it good at any time of the day, especially when its shared with the child within, and good friends, The sweet air that goes along with it is like a prayer of love, and comforts me beyond my wildest dreams. I’ve realized I am less afraid of crossing those monkey bars that C.S. Lewis talks about. You cannot move forward unless you let go. My white wolf is cooing and the black one is comatose.

Off we went to our little cabin in the middle of no-where on the Bluehill Peninsula.

Maine has always been one of those places that riveted both our souls, and with that said, I was quite nervous that a trip here would reek havoc on my peace of mind, maybe build hope that had no business dominating my thoughts anymore. I made sure that there were enough new things in our itinerary to keep me from falling back on sentiment, because I knew in my heart that there was no way he would feel any connection, the freshly pressed skirt he has been shacking up with has sunk deep into the depths of his soul. Lets just say we mixed it up, a little hiking paired with oysters and yes a “little black dress’ .

Where we stayed: We found a cottage on Air B&B that was located in Brookfield, ME which is a tiny little town with almost nothing to do but relax.  Breakfast was included and it was extremely quiet and could, if you were so inclined, be the perfect romantic getaway. It has tremendous sex appeal.  Shirley and Fred treated us so well that we felt like we were old friends by the time we left.  (FM rating 10++)

On the way up we stopped in Portland at Po” Boys and Pickles, which was not new to us, but definitely one of those places that is a must stop if you find yourself driving through and need a sandwich.  (FM rating 9)

In Bluehill:

The Boatyard Grill, which is located in an active boatyard is like a tiki hut, or backyard BBQ space that had lots of Pina Colada getting  and caught in the rain ambiance. However, the food was mediocre and the beer served to warm. Sometimes its hard to visit places like this with him, the romance is the thing that gets left standing in the rain. There is a coolness factor here (FM rating 8)

Deep Water Brewing is located next to this really fancy restaurant , They share the same courtyard in fact. This makes it the perfect place to get out that little black dress, you know the kind that you can rock at a black tie or at a honky tonk, one merely needs to change the shoes. We shared a flight, a salad, the hanger steak, and some duck fries, served with garlic aioli. The beers were ok, but this brewery doesn’t market itself so without being in the pool of competition, they fall short of missing the mark The food was great though and the place was welcoming. (FM rating 8.5)

Marlintinis is located just outside of downtown. It packs a crowd on any given night. We only went there for drinks, which in out case we were the only non locals in the place.  The menu is standard pub fare I think. (FM rating 8)

In Ellsworth:

We went to dinner one night with the yen for something more than what we could find in Bluehill.. It had been a rainy afternoon and we had just spent two speechless hours pretty much ignoring each other in a cabin during a thunderstorm. This may have been boredom This may have been just the need to not talk.  We had after all had a day of  hiking, touring Belfast, and visiting several breweries. Maybe we were just tired. As we sat there nibbling on cheese and crackers and sipping a growler of beer from Strong Brewing, reading whatever seemed to strike our individual fancy, we contemplated dinner. We found Finn’s. an Irish pub in downtown Ellsworth. The food was decent and they had an incredible tap selection, though some of the taps had been rotated out. The issue with this was not the selection but that whomever was doing the rotating was not paying attention to the menu thereby creating a huge hopless whole in the middle. There were a fine selection of big beers and an equal amount of wheats and summer ales, but the IPA’s and Pales that kicked were not replaced with a like kind.. The energy in this place was fantastic, and for a town that seems to roll up the sidewalks on a Thursday night at 8, it was a great find. (FM rating 9.5)

Belfast:

This is a cute little town that loves its artists so the town alone is a must visit (FM10++)

Marshall Wharf is clearly the place to eat. This brewery sports a tasting room that serves local fare and it known for its oysters. (of course we indulged, what girl in her right mind would turn down a half dozen Pemaquid’s?) We split a flight as usual and then each ordered our favorite beer. It was a nice way to spend an afternoon. (FM 10++)

There was this BBQ place just across the parking lot from Marshall Wharf we tried based on the smell of smoke. It was so non-descript and bland that I cannot even remember the name. I am making note of it here so that readers can be aware that the meat lacked the flavor that one would expect. Did they even know how to use a rub? I wish I had been satisfied with just the oysters we had before this.

While in Belfast please consider buying work from a local artist instead of a tourist shop.

Bar Harbor:

Acadia National Park . This oceanside mountainous park is a MUST (FM 12++) . Especially if you have like to hike, scramble, climb or bike .  Two must hikes for everyone (not restricted by age) are Cadillac Mtn (consider becoming part of the sunrise club, packing along breakfast) and both Bubbles. Though there are many others too.

Cherry Stones: We hit this bar up for oysters and beer  after getting caught on the mountain top in weather.  The bartenders were friendly enough and actually made us laugh quite a bit (He was sporting his Yankee hat in Sox country- though his knowledge of BoSox trivia helped save his ass J )  They have a local beer list  but its not extensive.  (FM rating 8.5)

Sitting at the Bar at the Farmer and the Fish=Oysters and craft beer of course

When I was growing up it was drummed into my head that a proper lady does not go into a bar on her own to just "hang out".  Heck, a proper lady does not get tattoos either.  I found myself lonely and alone for dinner a few months ago. I couldn't take the house, and all the emotions that went with it. I was sad over the fact that one of the things I had come to enjoy in this despair was hanging out with the lively crowd at the Farmer and the Fish (FM rating 9 - not for those with a peanut allergy ) on any given night. The place has great seafood, despite being small, a great bar, and they play amazing tunes. He and I would go for the Red, White and Blue special and the Scallop Salad. That day I found myself lonely, I was so distraught that I picked myself up and decided if there was no room at the bar, I would take a table and sit and eat dinner. I even armed myself with a book, just in case. There was room at the bar and the bartender made me feel comfortable but I remembered something else my mother taught me, the best way to meet and talk to people is to talk to people. So I struck up a conversation with the people sitting around me. I had a blast. Funny thing was I had an incredibly meaningful conversation with complete strangers that I most likely will never see again. This is where I truly learned to love oysters. I learned that a proper lady can go into a bar alone without the world ending. By the way, this lady sports ink, proudly. 

Where was I going with this? We went for beer and oysters last night, and yes while I know this blog is more about my rambles around the planet, close to home is a journey for someone else. What I learned about oysters is that like anything else, you are better off buying a few good ones than ordering the cheapest on the menu. While I do like the Red, White and Blue special (6 blue point oysters or clams, a glass of wine or PBR with the option of upgrading to a craft), exploring the rest of the oyster menu is highly recommended. Its like eating only the frosting on a cupcake if you don't. What I have learned to do, order the RWB special as a warm up to the culinary explosion of the other types of oysters. My favorites? Pemaquid (ME), Spinney Creek (ME), Moonstones (RI), Quilcene (WA) and Chefscreek (BC).  I was not disappointed last night. 

Another dish on their menu well worth indulging in is the Seared Scallop Salad. A few years ago when off on one of my Adventures with Pete I found out just how good a scallop was raw. I was served up this delicacy by his friend Ubby, while we were out lobstering. I admit I was scared but considering I chickened out of biting the head off a bait fish, I decided to bite the bullet and eat it. OMG, I am talking orgasm in a shell incredible. The seared scallops on this salad are just barely cooked and as close to that AWP experience I have ever come across. Don't be afraid of the fried egg on the greens, break open the yolk and enjoy the richness it adds to the bitterness of the frisee. 

The next time you find yourself wondering, yes, get dressed up, pony up to the bar, order yourself something wonderful from the rawbar and LIVE a little. Also, check out their farm stand, it's really cool, especially if your into living local! 

*people with a peanut allergy beware, just like 5 guys there are peanuts galore and the shells are just dropped on the floor. 

#farmerandthefish #oysters #westchester #NYmetro #happyhour #livelocal #dinneroptions #craftbeer 

His Rules SUCK

This past weekend we spent a lot of time together in a cottage at a B&B in view of the Blue Ridge. It was a spectacularly romantic place. The kind that make your toes curl and creates goosebumps with just a glimpse. Yes, this was one of those "I might never want this to end  and there definitely may be a baby down the road places." 

His rules, suck! Sometimes I get warm and fuzzy can talk about anything, the world is tender and we are in sync as lifelong partners and friends and then sometimes I get I'm cold as that flagpole that you wouldn't want to be triple dog dared into licking on a winter's day. I don't know you. I don't want to know you. Leave me alone.
Most of these rules are so ambiguous that I am not sure how to figure them out, much less follow them so that I stay at a manageable stress level. Then there are those times I say FUCK it as I am breaking them because despite not even knowing what they are, its evident to me that what they are is NOT FAIR and NOT COOL! However, this second option usually causes "only me" grief by the way. He is as stoic as can be in these cases, his battle armor and war maps are formidable. He is very well versed in being unaffected by emotions. I, on the other hand, am an accelerating train with the wreck is just waiting to happen. Our black wolves occasionally battle with each other at this point. I try not to feed this black wolf very often because it just unleashes a fury that is unstoppable. **This is a historical reference, not an indication of what happened this trip. I just felt the need to provide background. 
My wayward and rusty knight has two switches, ON and OFF and they are used at his own discretion. He plays by his rules, and his rules alone,  which are usually made up as he goes along. ON is charming while OFF is boarded up. I am working on this sentiment for my own self preservation: I just wish I would stop falling for the ON, sometimes I think my batteries just need to run out.


July 25, 2014
I am off and traveling again, only this time as a couple to the funeral of our friend's mom. We are headed back to Mark and Joanne's and Nelson County, VA. It will have a much different feel this trip and my hopes are to highlight the things we see and do that are different as well as rementioning the places I've been from the shared perspective. Wish me luck.

We left the house this morning at 6:30, quickly stopping in at Froggy's (FM rating 12++) to get the breakfast order we texted in. I wish I could say I indulged in a Windman, however the pub is my favorite, and if I'm gonna eat something that is technically not healthy, I'm gonna indulge in something I like. So breakfast was egg, pastrami, swiss, I added LT and mustard for good measure, on rye toast. Road snacks have consisted of cherries, dried berries, popcorn (air popped ) , and VA peanuts, plus the 64oz of water (my half of the gallon).
Our first stop was in Carlisle, PA. We drove over to the war college to look at the graveyard, the only remnant left from one of our country's grimmest chapters in the name of equal education for all, the Carlisle Indian School.  After that we headed to the Army Heritage Center (FM rating 7), which was an interesting place, filled with the history of tacticle operation and examples. It ws getting late and we only had half of our day's ride completed.
We drove south, stopped in Harrisonburg at the artful dodger and had lunch. We also stopped at the Midtown Bottle Shop for beers to take home. Then it was on to Skyline Drive before completing the journey. Eventually, we arrived to our wonderful accommodations for the weekend. A cozy cottage on The Fairview Estate(FM rating 9) that we rented through Air BnB, with spectacular views, a few dogs, and a family of peacocks. So very romantic, so very heartbreaking. This was always the kind of place I'd beg to stay at, we would always end up at hotels instead. We ended up here solely because of the proximity to the weekend's events.

After checking in, we headed to Joanne and Mark's, had a bit to eat and then headed out to see some live music and indulge in craft beers at the Wild Wolf Brewing. It was a wonderful evening. I have made it a point since all of this mess has started to look my best when I go out. One, so that I look good for myself, two, so I make him proud to have me on his arm,  and three, so that if he acts like a shit at least other guys might check me out and make me feel better.
Let's just say, I was told that guys were checking me out, though I was mostly oblivious because I was enjoying the company of the group at the table. As for the romance,? No comment. This girl won't bash her husband nor kiss and tell, so let's leave it at that.  More later.

July 26, 2014

This morning dawned hot, and my spirit was a bit wilted. It's hard sometimes to be mindful of my current situation and be happy when we are staying someplace so dreamy. We have a wonderful breakfast with friends and went to the orchard for peaches and other things to
bring home before heading back to the cottage to get ready for Marion's celebration of life.
I don't usually like to comment on something so private, however there were several things that I found inspiring about the service to my own situation. While this may seem very self-serving, being the daughter of a minister, I know that a funeral, or memorial, is for the people left behind. It is a meant to be a reminder that our lives are so precious and should be contemplated. We should spend it wisely so that upon our own deathbed we can be proud of sharing the compassion in which we greeted the world with. Marion was a compassionate person, someone we should all aspire to learn from.

First the minister recited and commented on Linda Ellis's "Dash" and I found myself wondering if the two of us could be proud of our dashes? Right now, that question is heavily weighted.

I also found myself fixated on the 3rd verse of Amazing Grace (John H. Newton, 1725);

Through many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come; 
'tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, 
and grace will lead me home. 

We have spent almost 30 years getting to know each other, and have come through so much, most of it amazing, most of it based in love. I found myself asking why? I still find myself asking why, every minute of every day. I am still amazed that we can have this much fun together and be in this position. It just doesn't make sense. 

After the celebration, we slipped out, went back and changed and headed out for dinner. We found ourselves at the Devil's Backbone, (FM rating 9) kind of fitting for my feelings just mentioned I guess. We shared a salad and a smokehouse burger, which despite the $18. price tag was amazing. 

THE SMOKEHOUSE BURGER**

A half-pound, all natural beef patty grilled to your temperature, piled with DB house-smoked pulled pork, house-cured bacon, onion rings, Muenster cheese and our house-made Backbone BBQ sauce. Loaded onto corn-dusted jalapeno toast and served with your choice of house side.  

After a very nice dinner and wonderful conversation, we headed back to the Wild Wolf to catch some live music. The band was so terribly unrehearsed in comparison to the one the night before that I actually have to say it made my beer painful. It was like they just met in the parking lot and had instruments in their car and got this harebrained idea to try to play together. It SUCKED! We headed back and met up with Joanne and Mark where we chatted until late into the evening.

July 27, 2014- we are headed home

After packing up, checking out, and a lingering breakfast with Joanne and Mark we start our trip home. This long journey felt like it lasted days. As we cruise up 151 we are trying to remember which BBQ it was that we wanted to try. While passing it we got a good whiff of the smoke. We turned around. The place, Paulie's Pig Out in Afton (FM 10). We really weren't even hungry, we had just gorged ourselves on bacon, eggs and pancakes. Paulie's has BBQ to go by the pound. We picked up a 1/2 pound to snack on later, it came with 2 rolls and slaw. Lets just say it was amazing. We picked at it for a while up the road, then put the rest in the cooler to savor later when we were actually hungry. 

We made several pit stops along the way. One of note was at the Roy Pitz Brewing Company in Chambersburg, PA. (FM rating 10- surprising little find). We sampled several beers, my favorite being their Belgian Style Tripple called P's and Q's, however their sour was also quite good. As always, we struck up a conversation with the guys that were sitting in the bar, which managed to get us a tour and a visit with a baby squirrel that is being nursed back health. This was a wonderful way to split up the trip. 

After leaving here, we made a plan to stop at my cousin Mike's place for dinner. The Lookout House (FM rating 10). Let's just say my cousin Mike knows how to cook a steak! The place is a throwback into the 70's but the food is good and the staff wonderful so it is definitely worth the stop. If you are sitting at the bar, order a filet sandwich medium rare, with L&T and onion rings (ask for them crispy you won't be let down). Make sure to order a Lord Chesterfield Ale to go with it and you will be reliving one of my fondest young adult memories. 

The last 60 miles was the toughest, and my turn to drive. I opened the roof and the windows, blasted this new grass/country mix and found myself longing for summer to never end. There are three short weeks left, and you can be sure, I will be back on the road again, in short order. I leave you with this cover of a Dylan song, it's a taste of my driving music. Shawn Colvin speaks volumes. 

The switch is turned OFF in the driveway. It makes me cry. I spend the rest of my evening pouring my heart out to one of my dear friends, 2AM came fast. I really wish my remote of hope would suffer a sudden loss of power sometimes! 

Governor's Island, Midtown and some Great Beers- It's a date!

I want to make it clear that I still love my misguided spouse very much. So much so that some days I can barely function through the waterworks that well up in my heart. I am getting better at allowing myself to feel that pain, to push into it, to make it real instead of anticipatory. This, along with meditation, positive thinking, exercise and the occasional beer have helped me cope. Some days I find myself pining for him, and will drop everything to be with him. Some days I am pissed as hell at him, and he spends a good portion of the day ducking my wrath. Then there are some days, that I am just skeptical, these are usually the best days because I find that I don't really expect much and then beautiful things happen, they don't last forever but sometimes just a moment is enough freedom from my hovel in hell is all I need.

My trip to Arkansas was a soul searching trip. I was trying to find out what I still had left inside me. Turns out, not much, but that was the beauty of that trip, my friends helped me find the threads that were left and helped me spin those into a much finer cloth which I know with persistence will continue to grow. Sunday I was put to the test. I was asked out on a date. A new man already you say? Well, not exactly. I was asked by my wayward knight in rusty armor if I would like to join him on Governors Island. I obliged. 

Its funny when you don't know anymore what is real and what is surmised, what is the truth and what is a complete tale, you end up just living in the present. I went to Governors Island with the sinking suspicion that his last trip there was on a date, and I never lost that sense the whole day, especially when we went to this swanky craft beer bar in Midtown. I don't know, I had to ask myself, was it worth my anxiety, should I let it wreck a beautiful day and the opportunity to feed my white wolf, be the better person, enjoy the love that was being thrown my way for what it was, a few hours of kindness, and friendship. So I had the attitude, no kissing on the first date, no expectations of anything more, no crying, getting angry, etc. It mostly worked. Lets just say we had a lovely day and leave it at that, period. 

Governors Island - a small national park in NY Harbor - formally a coast guard base.

We took an early train to the city, parts of the Sunday NY Times in hand, a camera, a backpack, and some stories from the road in hand. A short subway and ferry trip after the commuter train and we found ourselves on this island of interesting buildings, tree lined walkways, and lots and lots of art! Not to mention the food trucks galore and the hammock grove. This is the perfect place for a I did so well you'll fuck me later date.  Romantic? Yes, it can be super romantic. It can also be a really cool place to take your family and just yourself. 

We arrived there, walked around, visited the open studios, both 2D and 3D works then got some food from the food trucks. He had Vietnamese, I had Belgian, we split some fries and ice cream. We continued exploring the island. We wound up in the hammock grove and actually scarfed up a hammock. It was relaxing to spend the afternoon being best friends for a change, though there were definitely no benefits being thrown my way, se la vie. Eventually we hit up the beer garden and sat in an adirondack chair for two before making our way back to the ferry.

Frame NY Project

The island sports many tour opportunities, barracks, castle, etc. as well as two food court areas, both completely different. There are a few playgrounds and a very nice (incredible) hammock grove. You can rent bikes or even a surrey or you can bring your own. Adventurous cyclists may even try the ferry in from Manhattan the ferry out to Brooklyn and then a ride across the Brooklyn bridge to return to Manhattan. The calendar lists a ton of activities and happenings on the island, art, music, lectures, etc. Don't forget that this place is part National Park, so if you are a NP passport holder visit the bookshop to stamp your book before heading out, or just visit the bookshop to find a book about the island, there is lots of history to catch up on. (FM rating- 12++)

After our visit to Governors Island we took the subway north to 59th Street and headed over to 60th and 1st to a place called The Jeffery for a bite to eat and some great craft beer.

The Jeffery Craft Beer and Bites - this place is "a must stop" for any craft beer enthusiast visiting Manhattan or on a date in Manhattan. It is an intimate space with small bites and sandwiches and an incredible selection of rotating taps. We ordered some cheeses and venison pate to share while we sampled a few crafts beers that we had never tried. This is another one of those get lucky later places. (FM rating 10++)

Despite my luck running out a while ago, it was a lovely day with the rusty armored soul.

Waking up and clearing my head (with a 20hour solo drive to Arkansas)

What the FM Ratings mean:
0-5 is a waste of time - from suckier to sucky
6- might be ok
7- worth a consideration
8 -definite possibility
9-don't pass it up
10- you won't be disappointed
10++ you better stop
12++ you can't miss this!!! Life will never be the same!

As the summer approached and I found the prospect of being out of school with nothing to do emotionally daunting. I decided to pick up and see the world, starting with Arkansas. Why Arkansas? I had been planning on kayaking the Columbia River alone but as the level of my emotional distress rose the need to go out an have an epic road trip that included friends was way more appealing.
FM rating 10++ (epic idea)

The Plan: leave July 8 and hang out with Joanne and Mark in VA for 2 days, then head to Nashville to catch up with an old college friend Peri before heading to Colt, AR to see Bobby's new place. I had never been to AR so I figured this was as good a reason as any to make the trip. After 5 days in AR I was going to pick Melanie and Alani up in Memphis to make our way home, hopefully finding lots of blues and brews along the way. Then, I got sick, really sick. I came down with an infection that caused the lymph nodes on one side of my neck to swell to the point of not being able to even turn my head. There was talk of malignancy, there were a slew of tests including 6 biopsies. I was running a fever of 102. It reactivated the mono I had in 6th grade. I had to have a bunch of bloods drawn to check for auto-immune diseases. I was scared to death. How was I going to leave with results still pending? Should I even go? My doctor said no.


The Trip: I postponed it, but I went anyway!
Day 1-3: VA bound.

I have friends that live in the heart of the Blue Ridge. Joanne and Mark live in Nelson County, just south of Crabtree Falls in the town of Piney River. Joanne and I grew up together. We've known each other since kindergarten and were somewhat inseparable in HS, she was alway the one to keep my wild side in check, except when her sister got involved. The drive for me to their place is about 8 hours. I had planned on leaving early in the morning to avoid rush hour only I got slammed in traffic and it added a full 2 hours to my trip.
In all the years that I have been traveling this route to VA, I have always wanted to investigate the Carlisle Indian School grounds.  The two hour delay made me feel like I was rushed though so I just stopped for gas and a gas station sandwich, don't laugh in Western Ontario this would have been a treat, but sadly here, it was exactly what you and I expect. The Carlisle exploration was left for another day. I arrive to dinner and a Dales Pale Ale! I have awesome friends (Oh tell Carrie I will replace her beer next time with another equally good Pale Ale)
I spent 2 days here, did almost nothing, except look at some land for my daughter and drink a few local craft brews. It was a perfect retreat, my only regret is my potter friend Kevin Crowe (Tye River Pottery) was not available for a visit.

Worth visiting in the Nelson County area:
Hike?
Shenandoah National Park FM rating: 8 if you drive 10+ if you hike
Crab Tree Falls - this is a hike up to the falls so if you aren't in shape you may have trouble. (this was one of the places in the Walton's) FM rating 8.5 - though the drive is a scary 10 (if you like adventure)

Be the tourist?
Monticello
The Walton's Mountain Museum

Breweries: Yes, you guessed it, I am into craft beer as a hobby thanks to the journey with my dazed and confused not yet EX other half. There are 3 in Nelson County:

Devils Back Bone- decent food and well developed palate of craft brews. It can get crowded on Friday nights.
Wild Wolf Brewing-I have not had the privilege of eating here but have enjoyed their beers. If you have a dog the beer garden allows you to enjoy the space as long as your best friend in on a leash. My favorites were their Festival Ale and their Alpha Ale. FM rating 10
Blue Mountain Brewery- This place sports a nice space with an outside deck and decent beers. Their palate has been available on the craft market for awhile, at least here in Northeast.
  They have a sister brewery that is a short drive away called the Blue Mountain Barrel house. I don't know much about the place so I cannot comment.

For more info and up to date brew stuff happening in the area visit BrewRidgeTrail

Other important things of note
Don't forget to check out Kevin's Crowe's Studio Tye River Pottery and buy a piece of locally crafted ceramic art.

Saunder's Orchards has great peaches!

The Trip Part 2: Straight through to Albequerque (Haha- almost) - next stop Colt, AR

I had originally planned to stop and see an old college buddy in the Nashville area (Peri) but after postponing my trip for a few days I decided that getting to AR was a priority only because I would be picking Melanie and Alani up in a few short days to head home. I didn't want to cut my time with my good friend Bobby short.

Who is Bobby? Both of our kids were accomplished speedskaters. A few summers ago we boarded with the same family in SLC as the boys trained. The house was crowded with kids and skaters. I was a coaching intern at the oval that summer and my mornings started really early. Since every available sleeping space was taken up, including the couch, I used to make my coffee and slip out onto the porch so I wouldn't wake Bobby (yes, he was the inhabiter of the couch). Somehow, the smell of coffee always managed to get him up and in short order we would both be sitting on the porch in the cool Utah air, drinking coffee and starting the training day. He moved back home to AR last spring. I wanted to see his new place.

I arrived in the small town of Colt about 12.5 hours after leaving VA. I had been making good time then I hit traffic, 2 miles from the exit I had to get off of, it took a good 60 min.
Colt, AR is a tiny town just north of Forest City but is on the Trail of Tears (how fitting) heritage trail. I say how fitting because this trip is my own trail of tears and civil war wrapped up into one nice little dirty package.
There is a great BBQ in town, small little place that is only open until mid day. There is also a restaurant and a gas station, that is pretty much it. I think the population sign reads 398, or something like that.
When I first arrived I was so road weary and feeling gross from half a day of public rest rooms, bubblegum country and eating fast greasy food (sonic) that I desperately needed a shower before we did anything.
After freshening up we headed out to Mikes Restaurant for catfish fry, though I ordered a salad and the BBQ plate. It was pretty decent. The place was packed. The food was decent enough and the company, Bobby and his mom was even better. After dinner Bobby and I headed to this col little place called The Clubhouse. It is in Forest City. I think its the VFW? Anyway, the staff and owner seem nice. The pool hall is big enough and there is a really nice room for concerts. The menu is limited for now. I understand its under new (better) management. The beer selection is pedestrian, though they did have one craft bottle. The discussion centered around my inquiry about the frito chili pie that is on the menu. I am still not sure, but kinda think it is a country version of deluxe nachos? (cheese and chili on chips only in this case fritos instead of tortilla's). Afterwards we went on to Frogs Bar. Here I watched Bobby having to throw a game of pool in a stupid manner in order to loose. There was not one good player in the house. The issue with this is that it caused me to have a nice little headache the next day (lol) because while he was playing I was occupying myself with some Makers Mark and bartender conversation. I thought my situation was dire and ominously expensive, she's 28 and on her third divorce. How does that happen so young?
The next day, we headed to Hot Springs National Park. I needed a nice long soak to clear my head. On the way we stopped in Little Rock to see the Clinton Library, which unfortunately did not open for another 2 hours. We walked around the park a bit, then got on our way. It was a shame really, as Chihuly has an exhibition there. His glass always makes me happy. In short order it was off to find the spa. A day at the Quapaw Spa (FM rating 10+) was a welcome treat. This place has 5 baths, each a different temperature. It has a real Romanesque feel to it and it was reasonable. Eighteen dollars gets you everything you might need for basic stress relief. After a very long pruning we headed to lunch, which was a cup of chili and a salad that the newly opened Superior Bathhouse Brewing. (FM rating 9) The food was great and they had an extensive craft list, except, and this is a big except, they aren't brewing their own beer? Not yet anyway? What?
That night, we cooked in and then I crashed. I fell asleep about 9PM mid-snetance I think. The enormity of my current situation caught up to me that day. I was so grateful to have an incredible ear to listen to my heartache and to tolerate my tears and frustration.
The next day I was in for a treat. I kept being told there was NOTHING to do in that part of ARKANSAS. What Bobby didn't realize is that I am the queen of adventure. I tend to invent them out of the air, like they are pennies from heaven. Maybe they are? Who knows? With a good sleep behind me I was energized into not giving up on seeing the local Eastern part of the state. Basically I was asking Bobby to act like a tourist. Before you knew it we had bathing suits in hand and were on our way to Village Creek State Park. (FM rating 9) Which by the way if you are looking to camp with your horse? We spent the better park of a few hours swimming, that is until we each got bit by something (something lurking in those waters). Grabbed a quick shower in the bathhouse and went to find lunch and craft beers for me to bring home (and for us to do our best King of the Hill imitations in the front yard watching traffic). Lunch was at Johnson's Freeze Inn (FM rating 7). It was extremely interesting but a bit too salty for me combination of frogs legs and alligator. The best part about it was that the waitress had gotten there early that morning armed with post it notes and started randomly tagging menus with inspirational quotes. Bellies full we were off to the liquor store in search of craft beer. Armed and ready (macro and micro) we headed home, set up some folding chairs, and proceeded to watch an incredible storm come it.
Two notes here:
1. We stopped at the local BBQ and deli to get ice - It was honestly the first time in my whole experience in AR where I needed a translator, even to understand Bobby.
2. When the storm hit the air and light reminded me of Korea. The air smelled of earth and the light across the rice patties was so blue gray with the rice blowing in a similar rhythm. It was incredible.

That night we went back to the Clubhouse for a pool tourney that really didn't happen. I learned that I still really stink at the game. Probably always will (sorry Bobby). We went in search of dinner, finding none, we retreated home where Bobby made me the most incredible spinach salad I've had in awhile, despite it being topped with the only protein in the house, processed chicken. The next day, I am homeward bound (but not short of adventure).

The Trip part three: in search of some music! (No boys allowed!)

For this stage of the trip (the drive home) you have to meet my partners in crime. Melanie and Alani flew into Memphis to enjoy an epic road trip in search of music. Our plans were fairly loose, actually, I was so distraught over my situation that I really didn't care where we ended up, it just needed to feel right.
First stop: Memphis, BBQ, Blues and Elvis, not in that order. I picked them up at the airport and we headed for lunch first. The BBQ we wanted to go to was closed so we found another one on the other side of the street called A&R (FM rating 9- only because its a meat only place otherwise it would be a 10+). A real local joint in a very diverse neighborhood. The woman running the place was so happy to see us. We felt immediately at home. On the menu? Sweet tea, pulled pork belly, BBQ spaghetti, BBQ beans, cole slaw. Absolutely nothing on this menu was vegetarian except the cole slaw (eventually this might be a problem). After lunch it was on to Graceland, (FM rating 3) which for the money was a MAJOR disappointment. I felt like I spent $34. to be herded through a small space in 10 min flat, not really being allowed to contemplate the gaudiness or anything other than his grave. You were required to use a headset, which also lessened the interaction with the place because you were in your own little techie world. This was Elvis tack at its finest but the joke was on you.
After Graceland we decided to go check in to our hotel. We were playing full on tourist here, and checked into the Peabody, (FM rating 8- because of the expense) which is known for its trained mallard ducks and is one short block from most of the Beale Street bars. The rooms here were wonderful but the expense was huge. So what did we do in Memphis?
We walked to the river first. Memphis has done a great deal to develop parkland along the Mississippi. There are many parks along the river that all seem to be connected. (Memphis Riverfront FM rating 10++)
Then there was (gag) Beale Street. This is where the dog and pony blues shows go on. Its staged for tourists not for scouting. Kinda like the difference between Bourbon Street and the Treme. We did however go to one club, the Blues City Cafe where Earl the Pearl Banks was playing with his band which redeeemed the night and there was a small selection of craft beers (FM rating 9.5) and another that had outdoor seating, Kings Palace Cafe , where the band that was playing was fairly decent but had no craft beers on tap. (FM rating 8.5). The other bar we stepped into and would have enjoyed if there was not a small group of really inebriated boys (20 somethings) that were obnoxious was the Rum Boogie Cafe. Nothing was really crowded because it was a Tuesday night. The band at the Rum Boogie cafe was decent, though not playing the blues, but were being heckled by these 3 boys, which was a shame.
We walked over to have dinner at Central BBQ, which was not all that great. The craft and menu selection was decent, but the BBQ was underdone and tough. (FM rating 6.5). The walk to this place was through a diverse community that reminded me of where University City and West Philadelphia meet. We encountered the Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Hotel. This is a MUST SEE!!! It is a very powerful memorial to MLK. (FM rating 12++ - meaning its off the charts and can't be missed!) The best part of my night happened here when this woman was trying to take a family photo and was trying to make the best of not being in the photo. The place was obviously so meaningful to her and her family, you could feel the deep reverence. I stepped up and insisted that she get in her own photo, and snapped a few shots for her. She was overjoyed.
Memphis in the morning, yep you guessed it, we were a dollar late… We found the Cooper Young neighborhood where all the REAL juke joints are. We had coffee and breakfast on the porch at the Otherlands Coffee Bar. If you have a dog on your trip through town the porch is dog friendly. There are a lot of artists that hang out on the porch in the morning (visual and performing). I left inspired to consider a ceramic residency there next summer, seeing how I will most likely be unattached. (FM Rating 10)
On to Nashville (which was kinda a bust). We had hoped to find the same kind of neighborhood in Nashville as the Cooper Young was to Memphis before we committed to staying. There is an interesting artsy enclave called Five Points however, it is so spread out that it is almost prohibitive to do pub crawl or even a shopping stroll. However, we did find an incredible vegetarian place called the Wild Cow. (FM Rating 10++). After giving up some hope, we finally ended up downtown in the tourist area and did a bit of shopping (I found a pair of Luchese boots that were way better than SEX! Instant orgasm!!!- too bad they were 900. so the new love of my life had to be left behind on a store shelf). Here is a shout out to my children - my 50th birthday? hint, hint, hint!!! Think of how much shit I can kick with these pointed toe beauties.
After we ogled over some very expensive and pretty things, we headed to find some local craft to add to my stash before heading out. I found this bottle shop called the Filling Station . This was a great place, though only sells low gravity beers (under 6.75%). It is in this funky little neighborhood too. (FM rating 10).  I picked up a bunch of things from Nashville that were recommended, mostly IPA's and one saison.
We headed out of town thinking we were going to Chattanooga but decided half way there that Knoxville had a much better night life and changed out minds. So we booked a hotel on the University of TN campus, checked in, walked the strip and had a blast. Of note: the Sunspot (FM rating 10), this place has a large craft beer menu downstairs and a considerably healthy one (for a club) upstairs as well, plus the bartender called me darlin. Let me tell you about most northern girls, they are swept off their feet by a good looking man with a southern drawl when he uses the word darlin.
Another place to check out is Jack and Diane's  (FM rating 9- needs some craft beer) which is a dueling piano bar that plays stuff by request. By far this was our most fun night on the road. There is something about a couple of 20 something's so desperate to engage their parts, yet drunk enough that they would probably fall asleep, going after anything with tits. Granted Melanie and I are beautiful women but to get hit on endlessly by kids was a bit hysterical. One kid was working so hard at trying to pick me up, that he started commenting on the song Jack and Diane after he called me a freshman, I told him honey, this song was on the charts when I was a freshman. This prompted him to ask how old I was. When I said 49 his response was your older than my mom but he still pursued me, oh the wonders of being an inebriated testosterone tornado.
The last place of note, talking $5. orgasm here, is Insomnia Cookies (FM rating 12++). I am telling you forget those Luchese boots, this was heaven in a dish!
To get to Asheville from Knoxville via the Great Smoky Mountain National Park  (FM rating is off the charts!) you have to pass through the hell of tacky roadside attractions known as Pigeon Forge, even Moses and Jesus have their places on this strip right beside the Titanic and Wonderworks. We did stop at a few for photo ops and even went into the Smoky Mountain Knife Works, which was like the LLBean of the knife world. I was feeling like I got dumped that day, so I bought an exquisite knife from Finland.

Knife in hand we head into Gatlinburg to find a deli to get lunch to have a picnic with. This proved to be an easier thought than task. Eventually we went to a diner type place and bought sandwiches and headed into the park for a picnic and scenic drive. I was in love, one of my new favorite places to be, can't wait to explore it on a more intimate level. I will, in a few weeks when I rent a cabin nearby that is completely off the grid. Alani and I walked up to the Clingman's Dome tower and the three of us found a quiet spot to reflect for a bit. Of course we got the Day in the Park photo with my "goldie gear"
 If you haven't guessed I am a huge Gopher fan! Gopher football is what I live for other than speedskating and clay.
After the park we stopped in Cherokee, the origin of the Trail of Tears mentioned earlier, It seems fitting that I find the beginning of that journey here on my journey. We stopped at the Indian Crafts Market in Cherokee. I do have something to say about this. If you are going to buy "Native work" make sure its authentic artist made and not mass produced and labeled illegally. In other words shop at an Indian Artist Cooperative not the tourist shop. Also know that to be labeled Native American it has to be produced by a Native American. In Cherokee I acquired a wolf necklace at the Qualla Arts and Crafts market (FM rating 12++) . That seems to be my totem lately thanks to the repeated indulgence of this story being thrust upon me: Cherokee tale of two wolves  encouraging me to find and feed my white wolf.  No worries, the red tail hawk still rings just as strongly as well.
It was getting late and we still had no place to stay in Asheville so we hightailed it out of Cherokee and skipped the indian taco joint that we wanted to indulge in. We stopped at a roadside stand about 10 miles out of town for boiled peanuts and peaches. Melanie and Alani don't care too much for boiled peanuts but I love them. One we indulged in a snack we were off with high hopes of finding a room and something to eat. We decided that going to eat first was in our best interest so we headed to Wicked Weed Brewing Company (FM rating 12++) This was by far the best meal of the trip. This is one of those legend breweries where the beer is outstanding and the food keeps step with the same level of craftsmanship. The ambiance is a sheer joy as well. Of course I left with a box of beers to take home for a tasting party. After dinner we feverishly searched for a place to stay, too many things going on. We ended up 3 hours away and on our way home. We decided to end our trip early. The following day, our last day on the road we drove the length of VA, part of it through Shenandoah National Park (FM rating 12++) where were treated to a bear ambling across the road at one point. Before entering the park we hit up the Rockfish Gap Country Store for Virginia peanuts and sorghum molasses and then the popcorn truck and purchased 3 bags of popcorn for munching on in the park. We were planning on only the first section of Skyline Drive, it was a cloudy day and it was getting late. We headed into Harrisonburg for lunch at the Artful Dodger (FM rating 10+) which is this eclectic eatery on court square that serves great food, interesting soft drinks and coffee as well as local craft beer and cocktails. Last stop was the Midtowne Bottle Shop (FM rating- 8) which had just opened up that day. Of course I left with a box of VA beers from there too.

We arrived home around midnight after a very long but joyful journey with my resolve renewed. It really doesn't matter how this all plays out between he and I, but what does matter is that I restore my faith in myself. This RT gave me a good starting push in that direction.